Because that’s the great thing about being assertive: It’s a skill we can learn and practice. Dealing with intimidating people can shake our confidence and trigger self-doubt, said psychotherapist Michelle Farris, LMFT.
Sometimes we find them intimidating because these individuals dominate the conversation, express their opinions as facts and expect others to back down, she said.
That is, each of us finds different people intimidating. Wingert helps her clients realize that they can choose to feel secure (instead of intimidated), “regardless of the situation and who else is in it.” Here are six tips to try.1. The first step to being assertive is knowing yourself and your values, said Hanks, director of Wasatch Family Therapy and author of .
She’s found that most people who have a hard time acting assertively haven’t reflected on what they think, feel, need and want.“If you have uncertainty or don’t have conviction about what you want to express, it’s really difficult to behave assertively.”To get clarity, she suggested simply asking yourself questions, like the below, on a regular basis: Hanks also recommended using a feelings word list to describe how you’re currently feeling.
The opportunities are abundant when you stop allowing fear to get the better of you.
You might make a new friend, a new career connection or get a date!
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That is, we can change our perception of the person, so we no longer feel intimidated by them. Today, we’re talking about other tools you can use.
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An intimidating person is usually someone who is seen as successful, assertive, and most of all, confident.
But, as with so many other things, there are sexist elements to the word.
In general, when a man is thought of as intimidating, people believe he’s doing something right – he’s in control in a good way.
Below, Farris, owner of Counseling Recovery in San Jose, Calif., shared five helpful ways. (Because all of us, no matter our differences, just want to feel heard.) 2. If you’re dealing with someone with a strong personality, they might keep pushing if you’re backing down, Farris said.