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But I was finally back in the glorious city that made me and girl; I was ready to get down and dirty with the fierce New York City lesbians.I got on Tinder, because I enjoyed the low-pressure frivolity and superficiality of it. I wonder if she's Googled ME and read MY most recent article about being hopelessly SAD?Chelseas always get along with boys.""Chelseas are chill and love animals.""Never met a Christina or a Christine who wasn't a super-babe, that's for sure.""Cristina/Christina is like ~ in da club ~ hot.""Cristina = hot, Christina = playful, Christine = always in the friend zone.""Danielle/Daniella loves Miller Lite.""She's always down for beer pong, has the beer coursing through her veins to hit the last cup and will chest-bump you.""Danielles are really nice but, like, super basic — like their idea of a date is watching DVDs of Friends or dressing up to go the Cheesecake Factory.""Debbies are my mom's friends.""Debbies took care of me and my buddy when I went over to their house to play video games when I was 12.""Desiree is smoking hot.""Desiree is super chill.""She has your back if someone gets in your face.""Toooootally, she will lay it DOWN.""Diana has some weird phases-of-the-moon shit going on.""They're attractive, but difficult to deal with.""I feel like Diana is a cross between a human and a werewolf or a vampire in one of those steamy YA novels.""The Emmy/Emma/Emily trifecta.

Up until now, my dating history has been completely whitewashed. I’m very lucky.” I pause, annoyed that he shot the question back. It was an acceptance that I had never really been able to give my own father.I personally don't want to make Alexis angry.""I feel like Annas are shy until you get them in the right crowd and then you're like, ' Anna!With the jokes…'""Yeah, Annas are razor-sharp and witty/smart, but you need to draw it out of them.""You know Anna's gonna graduate at LEAST magna cum laude.""I would name my daughter Anna.""I would let your daughter Anna date my son." "Beth only wears floral print.""The 'th' at the end is very biblical.""Beth is the nice friend in the group that you never want to hook up with.""Are there any twentysomething Barbaras?itting in a Midtown Manhattan coffee shop, it’s clear that I’m waiting for a date. The Indian guy I am about to meet, Vivek, messaged me. Many Indian men have reached out before with messages ranging from brief to obscene. “The main character’s emotions are portrayed as voices in her head. It’s not what you think.” I nodded and managed a smile at my daughter as she ran upstairs to listen to her i Pod.

The screen on my phone is greasy from my sweaty, fidgety fingers. I’d mope for a bit, then get back on the site and start all over, searching for my Disney Prince Charming. Now my defenses are up against an Indian man who deigned to show interest in me. “Relax, she’s talking about the Pixar movie “Inside Out,” he said, putting his hand on my arm.I have slept with men of all colors, including my own, but that was only physical curiosity. Also annoyed he doesn’t have the usual closeted story. And I was deeply ashamed, not of him but of myself.

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