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This is the reason this show exists: so wildcard Katie can go freaking nuts. Date 1: When Keegan and Diane first greet each other nude it’s like the prom king and queen meeting to devirginize each other. Keegan even says awkward things like, “If I get turned on during this date, it could get awkward.” I suppose VH1 figures if these two norms can survive this level of awkwardness, they can survive anything, including spearfishing while naked. Let’s all take sharp three-pronged spears and jab them at things floating in murky water.

But first, let’s meet last night’s lovelorn hopefuls: Diane, who seems plain old pretty nice and really normal. He’s shy and muscly, and readily admits that he would marry and impregnate a girl he met on the show. Keegan’s catch of the day is woefully small, and he says sadly, “He looked bigger under there, didn’t he?

LOL forever at “groundbreaking.” Now I wanna do it, tho. I get in his car and try to avoid looking in the direction of his flaccid penis while trying to keep my butt cheeks closed against his fancy leather seat. I guess what I’m saying is is that I have never had to explain all of my weird moles within making the acquaintance of a new friend and the prospect of that fills me with anxiety. I also can’t help being so goddamned sexy, which is sure to make for a few uncomfortable exchanges with no slacks to obscure just how much he loves listening to me talk about clipping my fingernails or my conspiracy theories concerning John Cena’s reign as WWE champion.

Naked Attraction brutally proved that many Britons under 35 regard the human body — any body, male or female — as meat.

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Think of it as Blind Date in the window of an Amsterdam brothel.

Six potential dates stand naked in frosted glass booths, bathed in coloured neon.From VH1’s website: A new social experiment provides daters with a radical dating experience where before they bare their souls they bare everything else first.

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11 Comments

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  3. eric   •  

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