This is by far the weakest excuse for a cop-out I’ve ever heard, and yet it somehow manages to repeatedly eek its way out of the mouths of otherwise-brilliant pastors, authors, bloggers, and never-at-all-brilliant Twitter philosophers. Last time I checked, I don’t get paralyzed when a hot girl says “Hi” to me, and I am literally the ONLY one in control of actions at all times. Why don’t all the men just grow up, and then we can start having some teaching for adults. If most of the Christian guys you’re interested in had it fully together, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation. It simply means they are lacking in awareness, confidence, or most commonly, know-what-they-want-edness. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t pursue a guy. If dating hinders your relationship with God, why would you ever date… If you’re focusing on Jesus in this season, who are you focusing on during all the other seasons?
I don’t recall signing over my personal responsibility to every woman on the planet with nicely toned legs and a propensity for living. I’m just saying that if you know what you want, why wait until he figures it out? If you get married at age 25, you’ll spend at least two thirds of your life in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in Christian dating culture is the idea that young adults should limit their coed relationships to marriage fast-track candidates.
This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?
It’s like arranged marriages where no one is making the arrangements, and it doesn’t seem to work very well. Here’s what I think it would require: Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.
I don’t have first-hand knowledge, but thanks to reality TV, I believe it appears to involve asking the woman’s dad if she is available to date, and possibly not kissing until the actual wedding.
Outside the Duggar-verse, there is the less overt but just as prevalent “ideal spouse” dating. Did she want my sweatshirt because she was cold, or because she likes me?
Since you’re reading this on the internet, it’s probably true and should be shared repeatedly on your Facebook wall (actually you really should go ahead and share this right now… Identifying myth from fact can be difficult, and that’s why we’ve gone ahead and done all the heavy lifting for you. By this theory, the only way to really master the art of dating is to not do it.
“The secret,” he said, “is knowing how to handle a dating relationship so you know if the other person is worth marrying or he or she is honored in the breakup.” Unfortunately, it seems like many young singles struggle to figure out just how to handle dating–and I’m not the only one who’s noticed how weird the Christian dating scene can be.Christians aren’t the only ones obsessed with the dating scene.If you search “rules for dating,” you may notice the unchurched are just as guideline-happy as the rest of us.As my friend Lindsey, married and in her thirties, recently remarked, “I’m sure glad I wasn’t much of a Christian when I started dating my husband!
” Whether over coffee in my kitchen or on the hallowed ground of women’s small groups, I hear these murmurs constantly.I went to a Christian college where there was said to be one man to every seven women.