Across the table from me was a South Korean guy who had watched videos of me eating KFC during his time serving for his home country's national military.
He had told me that watching my videos made him happy and miss America.
People assume that just because your BF is white that you’re only into white dudes.
Wondering if people are judging him for dating a black chick in the first place.
She’s the kind of girl who’d attended an actual debutante ball growing up (“just for show,” she insisted). “Give me those,” I demand with a grin, reaching underneath the table to feel what, I now realize, are in fact some very moist mitts. We’re in tune with one anotherracism.” At this, I release the fingers. ” I ask, now going for my deconstructed tequila sunrise.
After graduating from Brown and spending a year abroad volunteering in a rural community of Nicaragua that would probably have been fine without her help, she moved to New York City to teach publicschool. We’ve been riding that good-first-date high for 20 minutes or so when, emboldened, I take Leslie’s hands into my own. “Oh, like, you know, like if a black person straightens their hair it’s because they have issues of self-loathing and resent their culture,” she says with an eerily cheerful smile.
After chatting on OKCupid for a week or so, we’ve decided to meet up at a bar and see if our real-life banter can match the witty potency of its digital equivalent. (And all this time I thought I did that in high school to look like Lando Calrissian … I grew up around black women who straightened their hair. I remember the way they used to bond while performing this ritual before going out to catch a long-forgotten R&B act play in a part of the city not even the gentrifiers would dare explore.
Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.
While I may flirt or develop friendships with other Black gay men, I’ve never seriously pursued a relationship with one.