) [Townsfolk:] Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
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" Lefou Gaston is the best And the rest is all drips Chorus No one fights like Gaston Douses lights like Gaston Lefou In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston! No one shoots like Gaston Makes those beauts like Gaston Lefou Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston Gaston I use antlers in all of my decorating!
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You can ask any Tom, dick or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on Lefou and chorus No one's been like Gaston A king pin like Gaston Lefou No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston Gaston ! And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair Chorus No one hits like Gaston Matches wits like Gaston Lefou In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston Gaston I'm especially good at expectorating!
Lefou Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston Looking so down in the dumps Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston Even when There's no man in town as admired as you You're ev'ryone's favorite guy Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why No one's slick as Gaston No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's For there's no man in town half as manly Perfect, a pure ! Bimbettes For there's no one as burly and brawny Gaston As you see I've got biceps to spare Lefou Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny Gaston That's right! Gaston When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Ask the dishes They can sing They can dance After all, Miss, this is France And a dinner here is never second best Go on, unfold your menu Take a glance and then you'll Be our guest Oui, our guest Be our guest Beef ragout Cheese souffle Pie and pudding "en flambe" We'll prepare and serve with flair A culinary cabaret You're alone And you're scared But the banquet's all prepared No one's gloomy or complaining While the flatware's entertaining We tell jokes I do tricks With my fellow candlesticks [Mugs:] And it's all in perfect taste That you can bet [All:] Come on and lift your glass You've won your own free pass To be out guest [Lumiere:] If you're stressed It's fine dining we suggest [All:] Be our guest Be our guest Be our guest [Lumiere:] Life is so unnerving For a servat who's not serving He's not whole without a soul to wait upon Ah, those good old days when we were useful Suddenly those good old days are gone Ten years we've been rusting Needing so much more than dusting Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills Most days we just lay around the castle Flabby, fat and lazy You walked in and oops-a-daisy! We want the company impressed We've got a lot to do Is it one lump or two For you, our guest?